At The Mind Gym, our mission is to empower individuals to achieve emotional well-being through compassionate, evidence-based care. While we do this every day in our telehealth sessions, we also believe in bringing these vital conversations into everyday life.
That is why we were thrilled to partner with the Mal de Amores podcast for a deeply moving and insightful episode titled: “Amor propio y relaciones: cómo amarte con tus heridas” (Self-Love and Relationships: How to Love Yourself Through Your Wounds).
Our very own therapist, Milly, sat down with the host to unpack the complexities of self-love, how past traumas dictate our present relationships, and the steps we can all take to heal our inner child.
If you missed the episode, you can watch it on YouTube here. Below, we’ve rounded up some of the most powerful takeaways from Milly’s conversation.
1. Self-Love is a Practice, Not Just a Feeling
A common misconception about self-love is that it is simply a positive emotion or a state of mind you magically achieve. As Milly explained on the podcast, self-love is an everyday practice.
Saying “I love myself” in the mirror is great, but true self-love is demonstrated through your daily choices. It is reflected in how you treat yourself, the boundaries you set with colleagues and family members, and your willingness to walk away from relationships that require you to sacrifice your core values.
2. Check Your Inner Monologue
Your brain doesn’t always know the difference between what is actually happening and what you are simply imagining. If you constantly tell yourself that you are foolish, unworthy, or “bad at relationships,” your brain internalizes that as reality.
Milly’s advice: Audit your inner monologue. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself when you make a mistake. If you wouldn’t say those hurtful words to a friend, a child, or a beloved pet, you shouldn’t be saying them to yourself.
3. The Root of Dependency: Uncovering Negative “Core Beliefs”
A powerful segment of the podcast touched on the fear of abandonment and the tendency to jump from one relationship to the next to avoid being alone. Milly explained that this often stems from negative “core beliefs”—deeply ingrained ideas we hold about ourselves and the world, usually formed during childhood or following a traumatic event.
When someone experiences abandonment early in life, their core belief might become, “Everyone I love will eventually leave me.” This can cause them to accept poor treatment in relationships just to avoid being left alone.
During the episode, Milly highlighted EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) one of the specialized, evidence-based therapies we offer at The Mind Gym. EMDR is a highly effective way to help the brain naturally reprocess these traumatic memories, allowing individuals to transform negative core beliefs into positive, empowering ones.
4. How to Start Building Self-Love Today
Building self-worth takes time, but as Milly reminded the listeners, you can start poquito a poquito (little by little). Here are three actionable ways to start:
- Audit Your Boundaries: Look at the different areas of your life (work, family, romance). Are you working until 10 PM when you shouldn’t be? Are you saying “yes” to favors that leave you exhausted? Start practicing the word “no.”
- Date Yourself: Don’t wait for a partner to take you out to a nice dinner or to go shopping. Take yourself out. Learning to enjoy your own company builds profound independence and confidence.
- Nurture Your Inner Child: Think back to what brought you absolute joy as a child—or what you desperately wanted but never received. Whether it’s making a big deal out of your own birthday, engaging in a creative hobby, or visiting a theme park, give that joy to yourself today.
Ready to Redefine Your Healthcare Journey?
You don’t have to navigate your healing journey alone. Whether you are looking to work through past trauma, break unhealthy relationship patterns, or simply build a stronger sense of self-love, The Mind Gym is here to help.
Are you ready to prioritize your mental health? All of our therapy sessions are conducted via secure telehealth for your privacy and convenience across Florida. Contact us today to schedule your free consultation.
Watch the full podcast episode here!